Agh! Or, after!Nano.

 So, it's after Nano. I found it very hard to post nano-related things here like I said, because I ran into a lot of problems. 

Sure, I won. 10 hours before the deadline! I ran around hugging random people in my IT lab and shoving my certificate in my friend's face with squeaks of joy, because I was so happy. But I did encounter problems. There were a lot of unavoidable social events (travelling to London to sing at the RAH and spending the entire two days run off my feet, my own birthday, my mother's birthday, other family birthday, etceteras...)  and I encountered the Dreaded Two-Week Blues of Dooooooooooom. 

But I also encountered NaNo problems that - although didn't prevent me from writing, for the most part - meant I had no time for reporting on my NaNo doings (you try writing 50,000 words in secret. It can be done, but dreamwidth goes right out of the window).

And so that's my excuse. It's not the best, but it's mine.

But don't worry! I've taken the recommended two-week rest after NaNo, and now I'm back in the Writing game!

Writing Course Writings - (Crappy) Christmas Haikus and more

 On the third Saturday of every month, I go to a writing course for writers under 21. We try out different forms and disciplines of writing, and different people (screenwriters, copywriters, storyboarders, journalists etc.) come in and talk to us. 
This month's meeting was a little smaller, due to the snow stopping a fair few of us from getting in, and the theme today was Christmas.

To start of with, we were given our usually exercises and then we were told to write some haikus on a variety of subjects, like 'snow' and 'christmas' dinner. I liked it (there was a lot of tapping out the various syllables, haha) but I don't think my offerings were all that good! It was lovely practise and very fun to dabble, though. ;)

Snow

White snow slanting down
Quickly smothers the landscape
All colour gone now

Christmas Dinner

For one single day
Two sides of a family
Bonding over sprouts

(Eccccchhhh.)


And then, for the longer exercise, I wrote a sort of parody, modern atheist storyboard-version of the Christmas Story. Warning: Britishisms and Herod/Cameron-bashing ahead!

Act 1

 

Mrs. Seraph, a kind woman at the Plymouth Family Planning Clinic, has called Mary in for a second appointment and soothes her fears about being young and pregnant - the test results came back positive. 

 

Act 2 

 

It's time for the 2011 census, and King Cameron requires ever-more invasive surveys to be taken (e.g that bloody wellbeing census) and so Joe and Mary have to travel to London or risk being supertaxed; which Joe can't afford on his carpenter apprentice's salary. 

Act 3

 

None of the snazzy gastro-pubs in London have rooms (which they can afford) available, so Joe decides to at least take Mary for a nice-ish pub dinner at the less savoury, Eastenders-type pub down the road instead, and whilst sitting down to a plate of Christmas Special he calls the local trainee hospital to ask just how early they open tomorrow. 

Unfortunately, Mary goes into labour right after the main course and is ushered into the pub's empty function-and-wedding room, where she gives birth.

 

Act 4

 

A group of the local builders, having finished external building work on the pub ("We're expanding, innate - the recession is the perfect time to drown your sorrows in the local pub!") turn up and are delighted by the little boy Mary's given birth to. One of them, Frank, offers them the use of his little niece's old baby things whilst another named Murray reassembles some broken IKEA furniture with Joe's help to make a crib.

 

Act 5

 

Cheered by the Christmas spirit (and seeing a business opportunity) the pub owner decides to throw a community party in the little baby's honour, and the builders drum up the whole street to attend. 

Three Volunteers from the nearest Salvation Army and soup kitchen bring food to help feed everyone and more baby clothes - they even give Joe and Mary train tickets to get back home. The display of random acts of kindness everyone has shown the two makes the news and the media have a field day criticising King Cameron and his censuses, calling Jesus (as Joe decides to name him after a builder swore whilst hammering his thumb putting up the crib) the "Baby born in a barn".

 

Meanwhile, King Cameron is extremely angry about all of this bad PR, and in a fit of pique completely cuts child benefits for babies under two (The media have a field day with this as well, and say he is as good as "killing all the babies in the land").